3 Classic American Recipes

Ingredients:
1 False Alarm
1 Harvard Professor
1 Cop
2oz Anger

For Bullied Nerd: Marinate Cop and Anger over lifetime. Splash with False Alarm and Harvard Professor. Serve Fresh.

For Intelligent Insults: Mix Anger and Harvard Professor until slightly lumpy. Add False Alarm. When boiling, lower heat, add Cop. Let mix stew for best results.

For Beerfest: Use Black Harvard Professor/ White Cop. Heat 1oz Anger and Harvard Professor. Add Cop. Watch carefully, as it can easily boil over. After arrest, add 1oz anger and mix well. Let blend cool for three days. Serves 4, or 300 million Americans unwilling to actually deal with race issues.

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