I don't usually do this: write response posts, or use "I" so frequently, but here...I...go.
I..was tweeting along one day when I came across a link titled "8 Reasons Why I Won't Cheat On My Wife". Brilliant. Positive, short, and good juxtaposition against the headline news of VP candidate John Edwards' indictment over his infidelity spending. The list, however, disappointed. Logic driven in all my decisions, I just couldn't relate to pure morality-based reasons. Or perhaps I am just less of a man. Still, as a fellow member of team faithful, I offer 8 Other Reasons I Won't Cheat. It ends there because I am not married, but the rule applies to any form of monogamous relationship. The current model is "girlfriend/boyfriend", so these are practiced, not hypothetical rules.
1. Personal Vows Mean Something To Me
I recently attended a wedding of high production value. There was a certain sincerity among the process that seemed to grant a legitimacy to their marriage. The couple seemed genuinely in love and to take their vows seriously. Meanwhile, I'm still with my old lady. We haven't taken any vows, but I take vows to myself seriously. As a man of my word, when I said I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship, I meant it. I'll provide my half of the monogamy, because I told myself I both would and could.
It's true that I have a good woman whom I want to protect, but monogamy has physical benefits aside from the emotional. The era of free love has ended. We know too much about the diseases in our junk these days to enjoy random, unprotected sex with strangers. At least some of us do. A single partner with known test results and sexual habits is a beautiful thing.
3. I have to see it to believe it.
How do you ever really know your partner isn't cheating? You don't, that's why it's called being faithful. You, I, have to provide the "be" in the being faithful. By not cheating myself, I know it's at least possible that she isn't as well. By not cheating, I know it is at least possible to have a partner and not be cheated on. If I fall to temptation, I will have a hard time truly believing anybody can resist. It would be that justification, or accept myself as just weak.
4. They have to see it to believe it.
The other women in my life have little faith in men, including my partner. They look to me as an example that not all men's decisions are led by their dicks. By not trying to fuck all of my female friends, I can be an actual friend to them, and proof that such a thing exist. I get the benefit of their friendship, and they get the benefit of believing their man (or future man) may not be trying to fuck every woman he talks to.
5. I hate my father.
Father, you know I love you. What I mean is every son want to out do his father. As a child of divorced parents, I never understood why they parted, just felt the sadness of absence. The bitterness combined with the natural desire to out do one's father gives me the drive to be a better husband and father out of spite. No disrespect, dad.
6. One sex life to live.
I am 100% satisfied with my sex life, as long as I just finished having sex. The rest of the time, my sex life sucks. Regardless of the moment, all my ups and downs revolve around a single partner. If I'm thirsty, I don't look for new wells, ya dig? If your mentality is "if I don't get it here, I'll get it elsewhere", you're a nomad. Part of being an adult is knowing you don't always get what you want when you want it, and not throwing a tantrum about it.
7. I use my energy wisely.
It takes effort to cheat. You have to look the part, go to the place, spend the money, talk the talk, etc. I use my energy avoiding the early cheating process. If a woman is gives me those eyes, that look, I don't spend the energy it takes to turn my head looking around for her to get that look again. I don't take the extra effort to go to the coffee shop with the flirty clerk. I do make the effort to deny the phone number exchange. I do use the small amount of energy it takes to mention the fact I have a girlfriend, when they're obviously phishing for that information. The effort it takes to conceal or reveal your relationship may be the difference between cheating or staying faithful. Avoid the scenarios that put you in the way of temptation. If tempted, don't do your part to take it further.
8. I'm only faithful so far.
They say relationships take work. While I haven't cheated, nor plan on cheating, I don't see myself as infallible. Attractive women are everywhere, as they always will be. By recognizing that I am susceptible to temptation, I actively avoid it. My partner trusts me just as I trust myself, but rarely do I involve myself in situations that push the limits of that trust. There are times when I travel, or am out having fun without her, or dealing with attractive women, but I keep the questionable circumstances to a minimum. I party, but my life revolves around home, not the party scene. If you feel the need to be out looking for something new, be single.